I have an announcement to make...

Fuck Oprah!
I seem to be fairly enraged at things that have relatively no bearing on my life. However, I feel, for the sake of the media consuming public of our increasingly disgusting society, that I should unleash my vitriolic ramblings on a blog that no one actually reads. So having said that, may I lead in on the subject: Oprah Winfrey. Oprah.. or Orca, has recently "announced" that she is fat again. Really!? I'm sorry Oprah, but do you believe that the glare from your halo is so bright that no one noticed you blowing up like a self absorbed Macy's Day parade float? Nooo, no one saw you packing on the pounds, and it came as a total shock to everyone that you had gorged yourself to your former weight. Not that you don't have the best trainers, physicians and dietitians money can buy, but you still give weight loss advice to people. Yeah, I get it, its hard to lose weight, but when you have people who will literally make food that will help you lose weight, help you work out in the best way possible and doctors who can monitor your health and metabolism to see what the best way for you to lose weight is...well you fucking suck as a human being and should be banned from giving advice/judging others. Not to mention the fact that there were probably demographic studies that determined her ratings went down when she lost weight and became out of touch with her target audience. Which would make her a total whore for money/ratings at her own physical detriment. But fuck her incredible weight gain; back to the halo. Everyone always lauds her for all of the good charity work that she does. Well, I have a bit of a bone to pick with that. Oprah is, if not the richest woman in world, among the top 5. Well if she were such a fucking saint she wouldn't be hoarding her worth like a fat ass pirate queen. She would be giving it out to people who need it, and she would be doing it at a much greater rate than she is now. I don't have the numbers, but I would imagine that Oprah rakes in more per year than most third world countries do. But she builds a school in Africa, or some homes in New Orleans, and we're supposed to applaud her!? She could rebuild the entire ninth ward, and most likely fund the educations of all Ethiopian children, and she would still be able to live in her mansion and get fat as hell. But no, she gives a minute portion of her wealth and we are supposed to equate her with mother Theresa. What about the women who make just above the poverty line, yet volunteer their time at soup kitchens? Why aren't they held up as heroes? What about working class families that give a much higher portion of their income to their churches, or local charities? They aren't sitting on millions upon millions of dollars! Fuck Oprah! Fuck her fat opulent ass! If she would put her money where her gigantic mouth is, the world would be a better place. Instead, she goes around with a spray bottle trying to look like she's putting out fires. "She does so much good" BULLSHIT! She does the tiniest fraction of good she possibly can in order to save her wealth and boost her stock. FUCK OPRAH!